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Barn Pixie
will work to ride
Recent Entries 
4th-Oct-2014 08:07 pm - all the things
rinding only the gray horse, and so far only on Wednesdays, and actually perfectly happy with that - working on following the happiness quotient.

working on the set build for Wilder's Skin of Our Teeth - today we finished the boardwalk/sidewalk whatever else, and it was amazing and took an extra hour and I have no idea what I would have done without the other adult there, but many kids helped mightily and were excellent.

already designing the set for Godspell (as far as I can tell NO ONE is happy about this one) I misspelled it Godsplee which made me laugh. lots of stepped platforms. And palettes; nasty, industrial, grafitti'd basically waste palettes. I'm sure the director will be pleased. She wanted to use the climbing structure out of her backyard but decided it was too rotten and slpit and splintery.

I have to finish some work for the early Nov art show and sale - I might get the big maplike river piece back, and I'm still headscratching over how to continue on the marsh maplike piece, and then i get 3 small pieces 8x8 max to submit. I am thinking of a trio of birds this year: crow (or raven), owl, redtail

One piece sold from the Holyoke show. Which is open 3 hours a week, on Sunday afternoons. It was a scrimmage getting stuff ready, but it fit into life better than the November one is right now.

Gallery girl came here to pick up new work, and her husband said many very kind things about the artwork, and said he thought I was a painter but working with fabric. Which made me waver between deeply dubious and all the more curious about the ideas I've been having about combining paint and stitch. It was both hugely complimentary and kind of mansplainy, depending on how I remember it. Which makes it hard to think about.

and then I have been using 750words to spew out ideas about things and parents and life and crap in very private ways. I have an 80 day streak going, which I am wary about mentioning out loud because I have a track record that self-sabotages once I mention a habit.
31st-Aug-2014 11:11 am - finding a horse to ride
In a frenzy of tired and vacation re-entry stress (whyyyy is the first day home from vacation always an entire day of laundry?? and grocery acquisition, but mostly laundry)  I asked the i-ching if I should even keep looking for a horse, and it said that the early difficulties would polish the end result to jewel-like brilliance and persistence pays off and talk to someone.

Apparently some part of the universe thinks there is more riding in my future.
21st-Jul-2014 09:51 pm(no subject)
Rode Penny again - 1/2 hour of forward, some lateral work.

Easily the weirdest thing was Leo home today, so she rode Kaboose, and I watched the red horse pull these extremely familiar shenanigans while I kept Panny firmly to the straight and narrow. Leo was trying to persuade me that Kaboose wasn't a bad horse, just... reactive? or something. I just don't want to fall off again. While I have a whole set of superstitions regarding when it is OK to ride her, I think part of my problem is lack of strength. I didn't fall off the first time until I'd basically stopped making it to the gym daily. It makes me want to try to get back to the gym daily again, and see if it changes my stability and stickiness. But I'm still not sure I want to throw myself on that particular horse any more.

Rest of the day was a mad scrimmage. Aerin's home, having spent a long weekend with my mom. Her young man was there too. I am so grateful for the way my mother treats them as a team, a unit of affection, and not something that has to be controlled and separated and managed until they reach some arbitrary level of maturity or sanctioned event.
14th-Jul-2014 09:27 pm(no subject)
I went to ride Penny today - I wanted to find the Pelham bit, but it was tidied away somewhere, so she got her usual. It's the first time I've been on her in a couple of months. It felt familiar, basically, and I had forgotten how incredibly comfortable she is. She was rushy when we started, because she knows I make her keep her feet going, but we settled on a more balanced, swingy walk and trot once I settled into the saddle. I've been off horses since I came back from riding Nuada on the Vineyard, so it was nice to feel like I hadn't gone backwards. Much. Her canter still feels out of control and heavy - but she covers ground better than Kaboose.

Spare daughter Rachel came up with me and rode Ruby. she's headed to N. California to work on a marijuana farm that has horses. The owners are ecstatic that she a) doesn't want to smoke their product and b)  already knows enough about horses to be useful. she's ecstatic because a) horses! b) out of her parents' house and c) horses!!!Really! like to ride and everything!! I hope it goes well.

Kaboose was pleased to see me, and whinnied at me, and was following me about, almost asking to be ridden. it was VERRA odd.

also I've finished four new pieces in the last couple weeks, and I LOVE them. Which is a nice change. It kind of proves to me all over again that I have to be working to get to a place where I like what I'm doing. Taking a break is counterproductive.
15th-Jun-2014 09:36 pm - a strange feeling of deja vu
So yesterday I went to try out a horse for half-lease.

And it was deja vu all over again.

She's a 12 year old Cheval Canadien, hunter/jumper background, pasture ornament for 4 years, new owner who wants to do All The Things (really: a novice event, some liberty work, thinking about working towards bridle-less riding, competitive trail riding is interesting and oh yeah, some dressage, we should be able to get her to 3rd level.) and I just... I've been here before. I've brought Penny and Kaboose from rackety WTC trail horses to solid training level, just-barely-first level mares, and I don't really want to do that again. If she's as clever as her owner believes, then I can check back in a couple months and see what's happening. Otherwise, the search continues.

And in an unkind twist of fate, the mare was at the barn Bully was when he died. So I had a minor freakout thinking about it, but just kept moving forward slowly and managed pretty well. Got to shake hands again with the owner, who backed me up the last time, and see how pretty it is up there. It isn't haunted - Bully's ghost did not stomp out of the ground and startle the hell out of me. But still, kind of unsettling.
9th-Jun-2014 09:09 am - the big clear-out 2014
what a bizarre weekend

Saturday I was completely laid out with a migraine. Not the usual ache, ranging from mild to ferocious, but the full bang, restless, puking, horrible thing, and it went on ALL FUCKING DAY. I wound up sleeping 20 out of 24 hours, sleeping was better than the hours I was awake, but crap.

apparently yesterday I still looked tenuous, because everyone was really really nice to me, and solicitous, which helped because people descended on the house and CLEANED ALL THE THINGS. I am wavering between grateful and kind of freaked out, because my standards are so different... but then I think well, all the expired food and drugs are out of the house, and the cabinets are clean, and the shelves are clean, and the sink is shiny and the stove is cleaned to within an inch of its life, and that's not even counting the garage... I'm not sure why the house was cleaned, and I'm dreading my mother (or someone like her, using her tone of voice) saying "there - isn't it SO MUCH BETTER like this??" because no, it's just different? and kind of intimidating?


The garage has a new people door, that is entirely courtesy of Matt who is not my brother but could be with more or less capable help from Al and Bill, and the front steps have the uprights for a railing which B&C have wanted us to have to YEARS now. The inside of the garage was treated to a bleach/water solution to kill off any lingering diseases from the rat poo. We moved bikes and lawn stuff back into the garage last night because the weather looked like rain. It hasn't yet, but it will.

Two dead air-conditioners went away. Well. One dead one and one that was as old as the big girl and Would. Not. die. The dumpster goes away today, sometime, and I have to write the guy a check for the giant tire in the back of it. Neighbor P was musing on what we'd think if a full dumpster showed up and offered to leave all that stuff here, and we both agreed that would be really bad. (although I continue to be delighted and amused by the neighbors use of the thing - I'm glad space is not an issue).

The thing about living with less stuff though is you (maybe just me) trade the presence of stuff for the sure knowledge that you can find and afford what you need when you need it. So it is not really a sane way to live life if you are strapped for money. Saving things is part of a scarcity economy (mind-set?) where if you tossed something, it was gone, and you were not getting it back or finding another like it, or affording a replacement. So saving stuff for later makes a lot more sense if you can't just go find a new one, or a used one somewhere.
6th-Jun-2014 11:04 am - ongoing rat saga
I'm an atheist. I'm pretty adamant about it, to the extent that i can agree with a sentiment that someone would have wanted or liked something and bite my tongue hard when they talk about that same someone looking after us in some fashion.

So what is it that makes me apologize to the rats I've killed in the traps I've set (on purpose, to, yanno, kill rats)? I think it's mostly that I'm apologetic about my needs: I'm sorry that my need for non-shrieky neighbors, and the OK from the health department, and cordial relations with the other neighbors preclude me providing some private place for them to continue doing their ratty things, and minding their own ratty business.

And then I look up and see a red-tail being harassed by a handful of starlings and a crow, and realize everyone expands until they're contained, and this is just a fairly vicious containment process.

so, apologies to the many rats I've sent to the Death of Rats*, and I kind of hope somewhere in the multiverse Maurice and the talking rats** and the rats of NIMH*** are whooping it up in some afterworld.

* Pratchett, makes first appearance in Reaper Man
** Pratchett again, Maurice and his Educated Rodents, theoretically a juvenile but really? just more excellent Pratchett
*** Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, the book, wherein Rats Got Technology And Culture and not the movie wherein Rats Got Magic
3rd-Jun-2014 06:49 pm - less rats, more kindness
aand one neighbor borrowed a bike pump and said kind things, and another brought a bottle of chilled wine, and said kind things. I am touched, and pleased, and not quite reduced to tears of gratitude -
2nd-Jun-2014 08:00 pm - rat saga con't
the health department came over today, I invited them. I am well meaning and naive, and Al was torn between thinking it would be fine and thinking I was walking into a legal and financial trap. They liked the start, wanted us to call an actual exterminator, and happily played hard-ass/easy-going or carrot and stick. There was a lot of carrotage, and only the waving of the stick, saying we clearly seemed like we were headed the right way, keep on going, stop and kill them. Close out places they can breed and sleep and eat. Al wants Maddy to see that her territory is still infested, they have a vested interest in making sure we keep pushing the modifications along. I desperately do NOT want to point fingers at anyone because they have been pointed at me recently in a very shrieky fashion and it is very bad. My heart pounds, my blood pressure spikes, and I get very defensive and very rattled. Even Maddy is oddly reticent about how she's doing and what the next plans are. I had thought she was going to show the health board dude around, but she basically lawyered at him in a very deflective way, said she was dubious about the other dude's claims regarding the persistence of poisons in rats and the effects on predators (any one know about anti-coagulent effcts second-hand, do tell!) and saying she'd seen fewer rats. She's been trapping more than I have, and more effectively, and killing more doing other things like with the gun.

Al is worried about lawsuits, and claims and being sued, and liability. I want the shrieking to stop, and the rats to be done and not visible, and no one pointing their fingers at me and blaming me. And no yelling. Kate said it was sad that the rats at our house are not the rats of NIMH, and I said yes, because if they were I would give them electricity, and help them use my ipod, and maybe donate my smartphone so they could surf the web, and I would even print out books and things for them in teeny tiny print so they could read in the evenings. And they would trust me, and together we could rule the world. They would keep the other rats out of Joan's freaking yard, and keep the squirrel populations down. Maddy might have to donate an egg or two a day to help keep them fed, or I could do that because they would be MY friends. I think rats would do well on the internet. They'd want a faster connection sooner or later, although my phone can connect to the house wifi, it is getting kind of old and slowing down. I'd happily donate some of the strings of battery driven LED strings of fairy lights for using in their tunnels and rooms. I wonder if we could garden together? I can plant stuff, but I'm bad at weeding and bad at maintenance. If they wanted to help weed, they could use a corner of the open ground to palnt some cereal crops, and they could definitely have the raspberries and blueberries I planted and don't look after. Maybe I should plant rugosa roses so they can have the hips, for vitamin C and flavor. I wonder if sailing rats got scurvy?
29th-May-2014 06:52 pm(no subject)
holy crap neighbors

On the one side: chickens (they rehomed the rooster)(thank goodness), a garden, a compost pile, and good places to hide - also rats
on another side: garden, compost heap, probably rats
on the third side: full on freak out regarding rats, including shouting at me, and telling me our yard has been a disgrace since we moved in 20 years ago

I'm exhausted. And wicked pissed off.
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