waking up is so biological.
There are fluids, and crusty bits and the slow rebooting of the brain and body. I mean, there are moments in the day when I can feel like a brain, or some kind of disembodied intelligence (where intelligence is relative) but the waking up moments? not so much.
- I have had a day of disconnected bullet points
- today feels like friday because there is NO SCHOOL UNTIL SEPTEMBER
- the sewing machine I wanted to test was packed in a box for shipping to a quilt show, so my efforts making red things were for naught
- Alice has a new friend who has a favorite fossil and it is the same as hers (Tiktalik) and also remembers most of the Nova episodes with affection
- kids are the best
- my gallery girl is also the best
- she wanted one abstract river, to go with the other two, the bird-headed people are coming home and the truffula trees are going up, once all the framing stuff arrives in the mail
- free ice cream!
- it was a tiny scoop of vanilla, but just the right amount
- Gallery girl is dubious about visiting because her husband wants all my horse artworks, and a handful of others
- she asked me about more cave horses, because in her house with 14' ceilings artwork is grouped, and the Lascaux cave horse has no friends and is isolated in the middle of a bunch of winter watercolors
- my mother desperately wants us to visit
- I just want to let everyone sleep, where everyone is Alice and to a certain extent me, and not drive anywhere? basically? for a week or so
- I ahve to make a huge basket to pur Falstaff into, and because he has bad knees he will tip it over and crawl in, and then escape.
- I will be making it out of cardboard and baling twine
- the appliance store does not have appliance boxes - wtf people??
- I ahve to email margaret about saving me a couple days of baling twine
It was going to be the last day of school today but Alice's english project wouldn't come off the thumb drive and be shown, so they get a chance at 8:00 am on Wednesday to try again. We are hoping it works for Emma today meaning that problem has been fixed, and I am guessing the bug eyed looks from the kids involved got them a small grace period.
I am supposed to go see the Surface Design group for coffee in Greenfield tomorrow. I am not so sure about that now, but I think they should get 3 tries. Also I can bring work and not be self-concious about it, having met everyone once. I have also been putting a piece together to test the big sewing machine - a sit down long-arm - at Notion to Quilt. It costs as much as a cheap horse or a fancy saddle, and I am so ambivalent about it. So keep gathering data. Al says he won't do something until he has enough data, and when in doubt, keep data gathering. I think he thinks that's how he works, but I've seen him fall for an idea and all the data gathering is refining the arguements he's going to make.
Maybe that is still what he means though.
I was looking for a little finishing graphic like the writers have for their book in progress, because I have taken on a really lovely project that is making me happy but has 100 blocks to knit. I am six into it, and I would LURVE to have a tick box somehwere showing my progress.
There are a series of storm fronts going over, and Tuesday night hiking is probably cancelled, and I have to go talk to more people about Falstaff's buck-basket which is just a GIANT flipping laundry basket.
When you talk to someone you haven't talked to since high school finished, becaue neither of ou are the kind of people who go reunions, and they ask how you are, or what you're up to, what do you answer?
I'm married, I have two girls, ages 21 and 17 (gulp, how DID they get that old already?) I am still horse crazy, I am curently working as an artist, I am the stay at home mother for an entire neighborhood, on everyone's emergency forms and cell phones, we have no pets because my sweet huband is allergic to EVERYTHING and I am almost relieved when i think of the bodily functions I do not have to deal with but damn I miss having a dog, or a cat. Something soft.
I read a lot. I make stuff. Although honestly I had a minor meltdown on FB about someone asking what I did all day "you're on the computer and you mess about with fabric" yeah. basically. So I started calling my work Welded and Pierced Textiles which sounds metal as fuck, and made me laugh. The best part was having a couple friends commiserate - Helen Husher who writes, and wrote a book that made me cry, siad she gets looks when she ways she's a writer, like didn't we do that in second grade and aren't we better by now? and Velma said paper-making brought slightly terrified stares, like paper was a thing? to make? and didn't just exist in reams at Staples?? and when she talks about weaving (not even the weaving she does which is spun paper) they just give up.
[having lunch with a barn owner and someone she was hiring to fix some machines, the someone said "you don't drink, you don't smoke, you don't shoot the shit, what DO you do??" and I said "I think, I make things and I read." It was an odd moment of mutual incomprehension]
other people's medical issues are getting worse, S is basically not responding to chemo and one lung is gone because of it, and the other could be operated on if the first one was functioning... she's facing the end life stuff, but fighting it like hell, and still looking for a way out, so appointments in Boston and possibly further afield. and then, she and H are so set of shielding each other from everything they won't talk. I could scream at them from frustration, but they will come to it, or not, on their own and it is NOT MY DEPARTMENT.
still the flip side of that is the kid who was depressed and overwhelmed and suffering strange gut issues is on an antidepressant that is working for her and she is PERKY y'all. She is happy and smiling and I have not seen her so upbeat in ever, basically. So that is going very right, at the moment.
I am falling in love? falling in friendship - it has the same kind of excellent swoopy feeling and the same sly cracking of jokes to see if the other person cracks up or not, and delight when they catch your references and astonishment at the work they can do (I always fall for people with mad skillz I tell you)
And in a fine fine turn of events, someone I knew in middle school and reconnected with on FB is still and yet again a friend. Which is lovely. And I am gobsmacked at how pleased he is that he matters to me? And delighted to have foudn him again. I dunno.
I am lucky in friends. I am lucky in online friends and real life friends and long term friends... lucky all around.
popsicles are like air conditioning for my mouth, also lemon ones are nearly perfect
I spent most of today in the car, circumnavigating town. I think I got a total of four laps in, plus or minus. Some were errands with S and H, then taking S home and grocery shopping with H, then depositing H's check and taking the groceries home and going to school and from school to town for birthday cupcake for a distressed child and take her home and back to school and get Alice and S&S and popsicles and home.
I am so toasted.
or possibly on the back of the neck
I have eaten 14 popsicles in one and a half days. It was glorious. Mostly lemon and lime, for those keeping track, except the Trader Joe exotic fruits ones are quite wonderful and also have lumps, so they can be chewed in a meditative fashion and later removed from between your teeth.
I will not be riding tomorrow, I have to do work, art work, and then I ahve to meet Surface Design people at a lunch in town. I thought it was Bueno y Sano but I think it is in fact Paul and Elizabeth's which I have been perpetually cross threaded with. Maybe i will like them better now that I am more middle aged.
The moon piece was accepted to Art of New England in Connecticut, I are a FINALIST yar!! and I priced it high so if it sells I will be delighted and partially paid back for gas. Alice can't believe they chose that one over any of the aerial photo-realizm ones, I can't quite believe it either, but I am not allowed to say so in public. It is pretty, but really trite.
I need to develop refinements for the index card arrangement I made for keeping track of finished work. I need things to be organized by what is sold, what is still circulating at what price it had most recently, and what is in the process of being finished and framed and etc. So instead of a notebook with moveable pages, i think I actually need a box. Which is nice. I like boxes. I like boxes a LOT. I will have ony small troubles finding one to fit 4x6 index cards. And if i hate it I can decorate it. On account of my kick-ass capabilities in the decoration department.
Maybe i am having a midliffe crisis
which means I'll live to 108 years old?
Alice says I'm bored, but mostly i feel rudderless
the boots won't stretch, because zipper, so
new boots or paddock boots and half chaps
probably to Dover and see what i can zip around my POWERFUL CALVES DAMMIT
No horse today, which is a fine thing, although I didn't read the email about that until I was half way to the barn, so I came home and did food shopping on the way to the hosue to work on more barn pieces.
I wonder if i am bored
or if I just need to recommit to something
(if so, what???)
or just rootless and wandery
I have, so far today,
- dreamed I was taking small brass nuts instead of pills
- sent my family off to the airshow
- painted some fabric using light reactive paint that didn't do what i expected it to
- unwrapped some contact printed fabric which ALSO did not do what i was hoping for - red from red leaves is fugitive and hard to accumulate (sorry Kath - I did try)
- stretched and framed the moon piece for taking to CT
- looked at MOAR framing options for the squares with circles, but i still don't like of them
- failed to respond to an email from the people with the horses i used to ride
- had a healthy lunch
- hugged my dad
I think I am letting my dim interest in painting fabric remove some of the urgency I should have around making other art works, and I could be a little less scattered and things might feel better.
who knows. I ahve an enormous list of crap to do outside my studio, and a pile of things I was thinking about inside. Something will become clear - I keep telling my dad
That kid? no not the recent kid with the mom, the previous kid with the eating issues and woo-for-brains mom and depression and on the spectrum? She's seeing actual medical people, has an actual diagnosis, has anti-depressants that are also helping with food issues and her mother... somehow her mother has been induced to understand some of what the kids is going through, and she is.... slowly better. Happier than I have seen her ever, and I've known her at least peripherally for five years now. It feels like an enormous relief, to be able to close that particular chapter in a happier way.
The other kid, with the mom's cancer diagnosis, and the drama around family and college and is sick again and that is increasingly complex.
I tossed my life in the air and ran away yesterday to see Great Kate and it was lovely. I took work to show her, and she took me to find fancy thread, and the place had sewing machines ranging from the fancy to the extremely fancy. I think it is funny and weird that the people who buy the extremely fancy sewing machines are NOT the ones doing amazing work - the quilters like Timna and other artists and quilters - those people are using basic machines with very few bells and whistles, but FAST, those things go fast enough to sew you onto your own work if you're not paying attention. It is increasingly clear to me that if I want to work bigger I need a 16-18" medium arm sit down machine. I think the Baby-lock might work but the one I was using did got feel great, and it was jamming in ways that were totally not my fault (Kate said so). I tried a Handi-Quilter sweet 16 at a previous quilt show (I think now it was four years ago) and LOVED it, so now I have two data points. I'd love to try a couple more, but I might have to go to MQX to find more than one or two in proximity.
minor migraine this morning, and not enough rain raining down. How does one convince the weather to yield a little more wet, please? I guess that is an ongoing problem the world over.