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Barn Pixie
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27th-Apr-2016 03:04 pm - more mental crowding again
Two days into my first ever experience with Topamax I seem to be sleeping strangely but my head doesn't hurt, so WIN? mostly win.

I have now interviewed seven different people at that many different high schools about how they accomplish musical theater in their schools. I have liked them all. Which is encouraging.

If you read Jennifer Crusie and not her blog, she is posting the beginnings of works in progress at the rate of one a week or so, and they are amazing. check it out: Argh, ink

I have a new set of rivers in my head waiting to be made, but one requires copper washers which are apparently harder to come by than I expected. Which is making me grumpy. I have little stainless steel ones that are the right size, I think, so I shall suffer with those and accomplish the other one later if it is still haunting me.
25th-Apr-2016 07:07 pm(no subject)
I am having post-deadline ennui, having concluded a simply smashing series of pieces in record time because they were jostling eachother to get out, and I finished the entry form this morning and emailed a giant packet of info in .docx dormat and 16 fucking giant and idiosyncratically formatted as per requirements images to somplace near Toronto and I am hoping for good things.

Having concluded that, I got my teeth cleaned and lunch with an intense poet friend and did not one single thing for th erest of the day.

Alice is back from her Rome to Athens sightseeing whirlwind. She kept us up to date with near daily, hilarious trip reports. She was traveling with a good friend with similar interests, intellect and level of snark, so they got default room-mated and paired up on pretty much everything. Since Miriam refused to write anything, I forwarded Alice's reports to her (Miriam's) parents, who in return forwarded to me some of Miriam's 900 photos (yikes! Alice says there are a lot of a jellyfish, and a couple vidoes of nothing but the wine dark sea rolling in and out).

There are the last three pieces I finished:

20th-Apr-2016 04:20 pm - ouch
my seatbones, legs, hands and shoulders are telling me I have not ridden my bike for at least one year and possibly more
which is crazy because I have ALWAYS ridden my bike, but yeah, that might be correct

Today was the second time this week I rode with Al partway to work.

My seatbones, in particular, are DEEPLY unhappy with me.

Alice continues to update us on her days abroad. Yesterday she described passing through a "mental detector... but another kid had trouble with his enormous lemon..." which is perfectly surreal and lovely. She says most of what she is bringing home is pebbles from beaches and other interesting places.

I finished the black stone river:

I have to start the next river.... my imagination is piling up on me.
18th-Apr-2016 10:40 pm - i have no title
After two years, minus a little, of daily 750 words, I flubbed on Saturday, and do not actually care. It is a strange feeling. I am realizing it was a fine way to wake up better - coffee and typing crap out of my head - but it also precluded doing anything else while I was in that good not-awake-enough to do better time. Once Alice is done with school, I think I will attempt to replace the words with the Y - getting up and going to the Y before I have a chance to think about it too hard.

And that is coming sooner than I think. She's on a school trip; Rome to Athens. We've been the recipients of a series of hilarious snarky trip reports. I think there is not one today because they are on a ferry to Capri (maaybe?? I am not paying attention the way I should be) but so far she has been amused by pigeons on the Trevi fountain, successfully fended off repeated attempts to poison her with eggplant, and had group photos taken where only her nose is visible. As Al says, her body language says "I reject your efforts at socialbility and replace them with my own" which - yeah.

Aerin stopped by, shocked that all her clothes are failing at once. Or possibly vanishing. She needs interview clothes for post-graduate interviews, and actual work clothes if she winds up in a fancier place than school. Also her shoes are failing and she needs a different formal dress. Her old one, from the prom wth the tornado, is going to come apart with one deep breath, and mine falls off her shoulders in dramatic and amusing ways, and the red velvet thing I've been saving for no obvious reason does not allow her enough ease to bend her elbows. If it doesn't fit Alice,it is going away. And since Alice is pretty committed to gender-nonconforming presentation, or cargo pants, whichever presents with the most pockets, a dress on her is unlikely.

I rode my bike to keep Al company on his ride to work. I remember that I love my bike, I also remembered that until I shed some stomach, the riding is less comfortable because I jostle myself constantly.

Two adults in a house is a very very different place to be in life. I had not realized how much psychic real estate the kids held until I wasn't paying attention to either of them. I have, instead, been roaring through new work. I like this one best so far:

5th-Mar-2016 08:45 am - hmm
750 Words tell me I have written that many words daily for roughly 600 days. Which is... a thing. That I did not expect. Mostly it is cursing. And also headache tracking and things I won't even tell you people. And I tell you guys a lot. And sometimes it is just lists of sht I ahve to remember to do today. Ther eis nothing useful in it - I tired to find a date for something I was sure I'd talked about, and I completely failed to mention it at all.

still. 600 days of daily talking to myself. started on a whim, continued because when I stopped for a vacation, I found myself scribbling things in a notebook that I needed to think about. So I kept going.

1st-Mar-2016 12:50 pm - voting
I got to the polls at a time I thought was before they opened, but wasn't, and voted, and I was #77 in my precinct to have voted.

That was fun.

Our town clerk is predicting over 75% turnout for this vote, which is pretty astonishing. It was certainly very busy. Before 8:00
27th-Feb-2016 07:25 pm - cake for supper
yesterday the lighting designer was in the ER with a resurgence of the autoimmune issues he'd had over the summer. He was back today, and I hugged his mother when she brought us pizza. Yikes.

we are less than two weeks from the opening of the show.

I am freaking Right the Fuck Out over ticket sales and coping by doing NO THING

I was at school today from 9 to 5 while the light kids did their thing; hanging, focus and gels - basically working in the dark for 8 hours, except they let us have exactly one light so long as it had a peculiar gel that no other light was using. Having the light stuff happening now instead of this time next week is a huge improvement in quality of life for me. I hope it is for the kids too.

another kid was there, the thrid from that family I've worked with, all charming. Turnd out he also has a thing for cardboard, so he spent time decorating the wall under the tower with "tiling" and "rocks" after we cut a tunnel in it and made it awesome.

I have most of the back wall of the set up and need gigantic sheets of cardboard to staple to it in folded forms to be painted and decorated like buildings.

I have to figure out some stabilizing for the back wall, because it could be deeply hazardous

I made an appointment on Monday for getting new work photographed in time to be submitted to the Surface Design Aassoc. exhibit at Schweinfurth (next Friday). One piece is EddyLine which is done and ready. The other piece I am trying to finish tomorrow is something like river of stars or milkyway or something like that. It feels like the galaxy, edge on, reflected. If I can't get it done, then at least I have one to submit. If I can get it done, I will be pleased with myself and vanish into the production for the last week and a bit, and then sleep for a couple days and kint mindlessly and eventually resurface.

In order to maintain a semblance of nutrition, I had pineapple upside down cake for supper, and mug cake with yogurt on it for dessert, but still, cake for supper.
21st-Feb-2016 07:33 pm - brain farts
It is times like these I am certain I will develop Alzheimers - I already have this weird vocabulary thing going on.

I find it so strange that I have to sneak up on a lot of my vocabulary sideways, without actually looking at it. If I need the word perspective, I circle it with vanishing point and sigle point and two point and Mrs Woodbridge who taught me the stuff, and eventually my brain says "perspective" and it is fine. The conversation with Ryan regarding the sticks you talk into to be louder was one for the books (microphones). I am wondering sometimes if I am taking too much pleasure in the brain farts and not trying to hide them - if I am teaching myself through amusement and repetition to keep doing this. If, in fact, I could be practicing to get the word I want and not have to sneak up on it, or if I am just doomed and this is how it is going to  be, if not worse, for the rest of everything.

I wonder if I could reward myself with jelly beans or something. Think of a word I want, remember it, and give myself a jelly bean. I could clicker train myself, using positive talk, clickers and jelly beans. There is amusement value in even thinking about that, contemplating how to go about reinforcing getting the word I want, having them handier and more usable and less likely to slide out of my head or out of control with things that sound familiar. The mismatch of auditorium and aquarium still makes me laugh, and the idea of putting everything is something it does not belong in is kind of glorious - put food in the garage, the groceries in the mailbox, the mail in the cupboard, and all the rest of everything in the back of the car.

The set for the musical is getting to be perfect, and I am still failing the producing part, where I get advertisers signed up, collect dollars, type up the ad, collect bios for all the people working... I am hoping to have the stamina for that as we go along. Because at this rate, no one will come, and it will be an abject failure.
16th-Feb-2016 04:51 pm - new compute
The old one collapsed from heat stroke when i tried to run the new game on it, so that was a bummer. This one is a microsoft answer to the new Mac laptops - solid state hard drive (which is SILENT, and quite amazing) and a LOT of RAM - everything goes faster even running Win 10. Which doesn't suck. So that is nice as well.

Actually the greatest trick I did was logging into Firefox and syncing everything - I got all my bookmarks and tricks and shortcuts and add-ons all in one fell swoop. Probably it is a security nightmare, but it makes life much easier.

Now Alice and I are watching the rain pelting down. We drove to see my mother yesterday, a moderately fast moving out and back, made easy by the lack of sun in anyone's eyes and slightly nervewracking from the impending snow. My mother's fine, cheerful, back to being alone in her house. She likes her dog and cats, and really gets flustered and deeply grumpy when anyone is sharing her house for too long. She had been sheltering a friend of a friend until elder housing opened up in town, and six months was more than enough for mum, especially since was supposed to be for a few weeks.

Anyway, yesterday reaffirmed that the point to a road trip is the company while driving, not whatever you are driving to. Alice and I talked steadily for nearly six hours about school, how to fix it for people who didn't want to be there, how to make it better for people who did want to be there, with side trips into recent favorite books and strange stories about her, when she was tiny.

The driving was easy yesterday but some combination of driving and weather gave me a spectacular headache this morning. Eventually it yielded to medication. I am so grateful to have meds that work. And then some breakfast with one set of smart funny women and some groceries and I am done. Tomorrow is talk to the Dr about headaches and any other meds that might make the bad ones easier, and then Alice has a physical in the afternoon. In between I am at the school, during school vacation which is remarkably peaceful, working on the set. Once the rain stops I will pound the pavements seeking advertising. ew.
13th-Feb-2016 09:49 am - waiting
my new game makes my old computer die of heatstroke, so I am waiting for my new computer to come, probably on Monday

I ran out of PINK!! yarn on the flipping enormous afghan and ordered more but knitpicks is ...slower than usual. Or something. And that is not here yet,so I am knitting on socks instead

Winter arrived and brought the Polar Vortex back with it, so we are close to zero farenheits, immoble and brittle with the cold

I have to get around to the Producing part of my work with the musical. I have ads to sell and posters to post and the program to type up and get organized. And still I am upholstering the set with cardboard... but at least there will be some help for that over the break week. I hope.

Friday dinner was cancelled for illness and misery. I miss seeing people, I miss Aerin, I miss the one night of joyous laughter and jokes that make the friendships blossom and last.

I am mad at Al on Aerin's behalf - it still seems like he wants her to be... I do not even know what. Older? Better? more organized? have more of her life nailed down than he did at that age? AM suggested fear, that this is translated worry about how she is going to support herself going forward in the world. AM is very very wise. She was helping with the set yesterday at the end of school. Before she left, I asked if it was too early in our friendship to tell her I loved her. She looked surprised but pleased, so I think probably not.
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